How To Feel Alive
by MISS.SUNNYBAUDELAIRE
Summary: Klaus sighed. "Come on, Isadora. Take in the moment around you and feel it. I mean really feel it." Just a one-shot about two normal kids with not-so-normal problems sitting on a roof.


**Guys, I want to write a one-shot.**

**Excuse the title, I couldn't think of something better. Any suggestions?**

**Prompt: Sunset. Given by sister who kept choosing weird prompts for Kladora. Like 'paper cut'. Anyone else want to take that one?**

* * *

No one knew where she was.

That was okay. She wanted it that way.

She wasn't anywhere fancy. The roof of the abandoned church was littered with leaves, fallen branches, cigarettes, soda cans, and even a couple of Bob Marley t-shirts. She sat on the edge of the roof, attempting to swing her legs, but they hit the wall of the church when she swung them back, so it wasn't any fun.

That was okay. She wasn't in the mood for fun anyway.

She was there for one reason and one reason only: to watch the sunset.

Yeah, sure, it was pretty, but she also liked it because it made her feel better. The way the sun set at the end of a day was the way she had prayed it would someday set on her problems. Watching the sunset sometimes made her feel like it did, even if it wasn't true. She was always going to be part of some problem, or mixed up in some plot so cleverly conjured by someone from V.F.D. or someone who was against it. She never asked to be a part of V.F.D., but they made it look as if she didn't have a choice. 'They' being the people aboard the submarine _Beast. _(More widely known as _The Great Unknown_.) They were a much higher order of V.F.D. who were incredibly intelligent and obnoxiously secretive. Her, Duncan, and Hector had crashed upon it when the hit air balloons were attacked by V.F.D. birds, which she learned where sent because of orders from the captain of the _Beast, _who was also the top V.F.D. officer. He said he believed it was time Hector return to his job and that the captain himself met the rest of the Quagmires.

Yes, Quigley was aboard the _Beast._

The captain said that now they knew what _The Great Unknown_ really was, they were to either join V.F.D., or die. He promised that if they joined, they would be reunited with Quigley. That seemed like the better option, so they agreed to join.

The captain said he needed the three of us to be a part of a big mission, something that was supposed to, as he said "make things right once and for all." They didn't get any details. They didn't even get the basic outline of a plan. They were only told that they were to follow the orders given to them. The first one: the Quagmire triplets must reunite with the Baudelaires and then stay under the radar until further orders were given. He didn't say why they had to meet up with the Baudelaires again, he only said it was important and that the Baudelaires would be aware of their arrival by the time they reached their destination, which would be a year later.

They did as they were told. They more than happily reunited with the Baudelaires, and then they stayed under the radar, awaiting their next order.

Two months passed, and no sign of any order from V.F.D. came.

That was perfectly fine for her, she didn't want to follow any more; she didn't want to be part of a big plan. She only joined so her life would be spared and she would be with her long lost brother again. But those things came with a price.

She became fearful of what the order might be. It could be something easy, or something absolutely dreadful. She might have to speak with an enemy, or she might have to steal something from the enemy.

The possibilities were endless. And everyday she lived in fear of the day that the order came and it would most likely make her do something dangerous.

The sunset gave her the wonderful relief that the day was over and nothing would be happening and she could just live out her life for the rest of the night.

She had once thought that the order might come in the night, but she pushed that idea away; she simply couldn't handle being worried for twenty-four consecutive hours.

_Every day ends,_ she thought, as she watched the orange sun begin to sink over the horizon, _every good day and every bad day._

This little fact always seemed to reassure her. Even the day that she always dreaded would have to end. And she do whatever she could to hold out til then.

"Isadora?"

The sudden voice threw her off guard, seeing as she thought she was alone, and for a second she was scared it was an unwanted V.F.D. member with an unwanted member. Then she came to her senses and recognized the voice of her close friend, Klaus Baudelaire. She sighed relief and turned to face him. He stood a few feet behind her in jeans and a black hoodie and t-shirt. The slowly fading light from the sky allowed her to see the worried expression he was wearing. He always seemed to be a bit worried with things that concerned her.

Instead of answering his question, she frowned and asked, "How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't. I was taking a walk when I saw you sitting up here."

Isadora nodded. She turned away from him to face the sunset and patted the spot next to her, a motion for him to sit, and he did.

They were silent as the sun set over the horizon, taking the orange, pink, and gray shades of the sky with it and replacing it with darkness of the night.

"You know," Klaus said, interrupting the silence, "I think you're over thinking this whole V.F.D. thing."

Isadora shook her head. "You always say that."

"Because it's-"

"_Not_ true."

"Yes it is," Klaus said defiantly.

Isadora was going to argue when Klaus began speaking before her. "You don't have to act like you're okay, because I know you're not. You're letting all this V.F.D. stuff get to your head. I can tell you're scared."

"Well, aren't you?!" Isadora blurted out. "I mean, the one place that you're supposed to feel the safest was burned to the ground, and then for _so long_ you're running from homicidal psychopaths, and now you find out you're a part of some big plan that you know nothing about, and you might have to do something more dangerous than you've ever experienced! How could you possibly _not _be scared?"

"I am."

"Then why is it so wrong for _me _to feel scared?"

"It's not," he said. "You've got a good reason to be, but you've let your fear take over your life. Embrace the freedom you have right now, and don't think so much about the future. Just think about...now. I promise you'll feel better."

Isadora rubbed her face with her hands.

He continued, "I just hate seeing you so upset all the time."

She sighed. "For a year, I've been dreading the day I get sent on a mission, thinking the worst case scenarios. It's hard to think of anything else."

"Well, let's practice, then," Klaus said as he scooted closer to her. "Where are we?"

Isadora sighed, resting her elbows on her lap and her chin in her hands. "On a roof."

"On a roof where?"

"The woods."

"What are we doing?"

"Sitting."

"And?"

"Talking."

"And?"

"_Breathing_."

"And?"

Isadora paused. She sat up straight and looked at him. "_And _this is ridiculous."

Klaus sighed. "Come on, Isadora. Take in the moment around you and _feel_ it. I mean _really _feel it."

Isadora threw her arms in her lap and let out a small grunt. It was difficult for her to focus on small and simple things, or things that were right in front of her. Her mind was always wandering off somewhere, and she hardly bothered to stop it since it was just easier to let it fly off. This particular night wasn't any easier. But then she started thinking that maybe Klaus was right. Maybe she was letting all her fears get to her head. Too much fear could lead to insanity. So she took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes. The first thing she looked at when she opened her eyes was the sky. The sight took her breath away. Sure, she had casually looked up at the sky before, just everyone had, but now she wasn't just looking at it. She was _seeing_ it. She saw it as it truly was-a magnificent color of dark blue and spontaneous arrangement of twinkling stars too beautiful to exist on Earth.

She looked at the land around her, beyond the littered roof of the church to the woods that surrounded it. Instead of the old trees she used to ignore, she saw life in them-even in the dark. It was quiet, but she knew everything was stirring and growing all around her. She usually just saw plant life as inanimate objects (which they were), but they were also _alive_. And that fascinated her.

Then she looked at Klaus.

His dark hair was messed up from the night's constant breeze, and his clothes were a bit too big on him. His eyes were tired from staying up late reading so much, yet underneath the moonlight, she could see they managed to look at her with such reassuring hope and care. She always thought that Klaus only asked about her well being to be nice, but now she could see that he genuinely cared. Isadora always had more than friendship-like feelings for him that had only been growing, but this new realization made her heart skip a beat. How could she have missed it? She'd obviously been too consumed in her own worries to notice. Yet, he never failed to show how he cared. Immediately, guilt crept in. Seeing and feeling things differently that night, she knew she could change back to the Isadora before she joined V.F.D, before she attended Prufrock Prep, and before she lost her parents and home in a fire. It would be gradual, but it could happen. And she would start with trying repay Klaus in any way she could.

"Well," he said, breaking the silence, "how do you feel?"

How _did_ she feel?

She definitely felt different. A little overwhelmed even, and kind of like she didn't know what to do next.

And then he smiled at her, and her entire being warmed up. She realized she didn't have to know what to do next, whether she was on a mission for V.F.D. or sitting on a roof with Klaus, because the only thing that mattered in her life at the moment was just being there with him.

She took his hand. "_Alive."_

**Well, this was certainly different than everything else I've written. Please tell me what you honestly think, positive and negative. :) Constructive criticism is more than welcome!**

**You know, I could make this into an actual story about the mission they have to go on. I mean, I would start after I finish with The Isadora Diaries in about four and a half centuries, but I'd get to it. What do you guys think?**

**Until next time!**

**;)**


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